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Don’t be kind.Don’t be heartless either

When I first locked my eyes with hers, little did I knew that was a beginning of whirlwind romance that would end up me being emotionally bankrupted.

I was very young, in my late teens. That butterflies in stomach and turbulent flow of raging hormone made me feel “she is the one”.

She wasn’t.

I learned that very hard way. I was a slow learner, even slower than a reluctant artsy teen in accountancy class.   And thanks to my refusal to accept that reality, she did things which made me to kick myself and spat on.

But endured all those not only because I loved her. My  values( wrong values?) barred me from refusing her unreasonable “requests” and confronting her about her dalliances and lies.

“A caring gentle man trusts his lover and accepts her as she is”—– I fed this bullshit myself longer than I want to admit, thanks to messages society bombard me with.

And this is just another insignificant cookie cutter case of pain caused because of we are not taught to say no. There are millions more , way more heart wrenching than mine.

 

Another such thing is act of kindness. Everybody will tell you to be kind, offer shoulders, donate your hard earn money to the needy. And these comes with a good intention.

But all sinister things start with a good intention.

Thing is, no one depicts the grim reality. There will be leeches who would pray on your kindness and suck your earnings dry. There will be manipulators who will take advantages of you with Oscar worthy acts of theirs. And most importantly, not everyone is mother Teresa, you can’t go on giving all you got while receiving nothing in return.

Thing is our social values don’t teach us when to draw the line.The “goodness” bar is often set  at unrealistic heights. We are expected to be nice. We are told to follow order and not to ask question.

But you learn to play dirty and win by playing on field only.

When a person burns , gets overwhelmed and survives all that, he learned when to pull the trigger or not to.

So do good, be kind but use your head.  Don’t burn yourself out or get killed just to be tagged as “nice person”.

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